Alice O. Howell   


At the Pub: Soliloquy of the fallen Priest of Tralee


             So!  So.  So?

       So, I am drunk

             and I am going to the fire

and leaning over it

       puttin' me face to the flame.

             I feel the burning

of life wanting to live

       and I feel the penance

                    of mockery -

and I ask, indeed, I do:

                    who would die for me

             besides meself?

No one! Not today! Not anyone!

             So!  So.  So?

So they must be canonizin'

       a new saint, entirely

                    one that shouts and drools

             or passes out

       and prays withal -

I believe!  I love!  I'm here

             cursed by me own existence!

             So!  So.  So -

Ye should honour the mocker

       for his despair

             cos he will compromise

          with necessity

                    and excel

and damn himself  for doin' it

       not seeing that Christ himself

                    went the hard way

             finding the courage in losing

knowin’ it the only way

       in the end

                     to win.

                           So!  So.  So?

            Now don't ye see that?







Deborah 10-9-03