The Ulster Project

by Deborah M Conner

Wednesday at noon, twenty-four teens linked arms, smiling through tears for a last group photo. It was the tenth time this scene had played out in Alliance, echoing simultaneously in thirty other US cities in a dozen states. The Ulster Project was completing its cycle, the last event shared in a month of sharing. Behind the teens, two vans waited in the Trinity Church parking lot to take half of them off on the first leg of their journey home to Belfast, Northern Ireland. The other half would stay behind, treasuring the month of bonding, friendship, and growth. All would tell you that the experience changed their lives; past participants would add that it will continue to enrich them in ways they will discover for years.

The project began twenty-two years ago as an experiment in easing the tensions of the polarized factions in Northern Ireland. These factions, drawn along religious lines -- Catholic and Protestant -- represent a political, non-theological conflict spawn by the long, turbulent, and sometimes ironic history of the island. Father Kerry Waterstone, an Irish Anglican priest, drew on his experiences of the successful American ‘melting pot’, hoping it might serve as an example of tolerance and understanding between diverse cultural groups for Northern Irish youth. Matched with American teens and their families, the Irish teens, both Catholic and Protestant, are chosen for their future leadership potential. Here, they enjoy a month of fun and self-discovery, bonding with their American counterparts, their families, and each other. Waterstone hoped that the families would be representative of average American life, allowing the teens to observe and experience our diverse approach to everyday decision making and problem solving.

Integral to the program are the many churches that have united to make all this possible, donating space, resources, and welcoming the project families to their services. During the month, four Time of Discovery sessions are held. These are non-proselytizing sessions developed to help the teens take responsibility for themselves through the examination and building of relationships, and the discovery of conflict resolution skills. It is "a time to build confidence", to understand conflict and find that resolution can be a constructive process with positive results.

Through the project, Ulster teen Michael Morgan says he has learned about trust and giving other people a chance to get their points across, about "not judging people by their beliefs." American teen Jessica Montgomery shares the opinion of Northern Irish Constance McGrath that, "This month’s been the best month of my life." The group spent its last night together reviewing the month by watching the many slides and videos made of the events. There was a touching moment when they watched images of themselves dancing to a live band just a few weeks before. The singer was singing the song, "Stand by Me", and the teens spontaneously joined in together to sing along.

Former teens from the project, now grown into students and professionals, sometimes parents themselves, look back with similar memories of the experience. These were the teens who also finished the project vowing to remain friends, and it’s heartening how often they have succeeded. They have returned to be in each others weddings, hosting the Americans back to Ireland, and the Irish back to America. Though the Ulster Project finishes its month, it lives on in its members attitudes. As Jacqueline Turner, a teen from the 1992 project writes, "I realized at a formative stage in my life that there are very few irreconcilable differences between any communities. The feeling of love and unqualified acceptance that I found in Alliance has instilled in me a confidence and peace that continually warms me." Dareyl Armitage, a participant in 1990, writes, "The Ulster Project made sure that the ‘them’ and ‘us’ dichotomy was erased from my mind. I became a dedicated ecumenist. I came to know Protestant and Catholic teenagers (both American and Northern Irish) not for their religious labels but as human beings."

Alliance as a community also continues to benefit from the project. The families feel an invisible bond, having had unique opportunities to solve the problems of planning, funding, and carrying out the many events. Lines of communication and camaraderie developed between them, honing their problem solving skills as well. The churches, businesses, and civic groups supporting the project have also had the opportunity to work together in ways that can only make a community stronger. Everyone involved with the Ulster Project has become united by the pursuit of a common goal.

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won't be afraid
I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand by me

Stand by me, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me

If the sea that we look upon
Should it tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble in the sea
You know that I won't, I won't cry
I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darling, darling
Stand by me, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me

You are the light that shines in my life
I reach out my hands to be with you
Let's keep on believing
You give me a reason, a reason to smile

Stand be me

If the sky and the mountains tumble to the sea
I'll be there as long as you stand by me
All the world come together, live in harmony
I can feel your love, long as you stand by me

Like the moon feeds the ocean, let me be your light
Won't you stand by, oh baby stand by, stand by me
All the world come together, live in harmony
Baby won't you stand......

Words and Music by Ben E. King, Jerry Leiber & Mike Stoller

 Deborah and her family have twice been hosts for the Ulster Project, and had the honor of having their house rolled magnificently with industrial sized rolls of tp. Glorious...